A Wise Man Builds his House on a Rock

The title above comes from the readings from church this Sunday, ironically.  Remember this?  That I wrote just days ago?  Well, just know that very quickly the story continues right back up the path it started from.  When we left off, my hubby pretty much hated me  was very disappointed in my choice to back out of the build and thought I was a raving lunatic.  Well, I kind of was.  And I so appreciate the readers who chimed in supporting my decision.  Of the few words he did speak to me that night, they included, “well, I’m not calling them to tell them to put a stop to it.  You’re gonna have to do it.”  Gladly.  And that’s what I did.  I called our realtor and gushed out all over again with the “I need out of this, we can’t do this, I’m sorry, but I’m otta here.”  She countered with the thought that I had a natural case of buyer’s remorse (UM, YEAH!), and that all would be well.  I gave her all of my reasons and a few tears, and she said, OK, I’ll call the builder and tell him to hold on a minute and I’ll get back in touch with you to see if you change your mind in a few days.  I didn’t WANT her to call me back.  My last words were “I will not change my mind on this.”    Turns out I didn’t have to change my mind, but it was pretty much changed for me, learning that it was truly, really too late to turn back without some signficiant financial loss over and above our earnest money. I won’t go into it here.  But  there you have it.  Hubby is happy again.  He also thankfully pulled in another tucked away financial source I didn’t even know we had, that came as part of the inheritance from his brother, which will help ease things a bit when they get tighter and, and also bring our overall down payment to a (relatively) reasonable level.  Turns out Uncle2Roo, even from his grave, is gonna help us build this house.

Now, just because all this is somewhat settled that its happening, does not mean that I am altogether settled with it.  Things are still going to be TIGHTIGHITHTIGHT over the next several months.  It will be a summer of NO FUN THINGS, GOING NOWHERE, SPENDING NO MONEY, and being ANTISOCIAL.  I’ve re-run the numbers with more accurate estimates of payments from the banker working our loans, and with this cut here and that cut there and a big ol’ budget down to the penny, we will make this work.  We won’t have curtains or landscaping at the new house, but we will not starve.  Woob will still get to go to the school we chose for him this fall.  I have been truly sick with worry for the past week (along with the flu for good measure), and marched my little fanny to the Dr.’s office to re-up my anti-anxiety meds which I hadn’t needed since my infertility days.  Its helping take a very big edge off for now.  And its cheap so that’s good.

We’ve had a few BIG TALKS over the past few days–me threatening hubby with his life if he goes off the budget by even a penny.  Me wailing about how we’ll never be able to (insert fun thing here) again! Wah Wah Wah. 

And at some point he just stopped me.  He looked me in the eyes and said, “This is going to be okay.  It will be hard at first and we’ll be making sacrifices that I think we’ll be glad of later.  We’ll become smarter with our money, we’ll be stronger becasue we’re in this together, and things will be fine.  There are very few things in our marriage that I’ve really wanted and insisted on, and if I thought this in any way was going to ruin our life together, I wouldn’t do it.  I need you to trust me and trust my judgement.  I’ve done the same for you.  When you told me you wanted to adopt, that was really nowhere on my radar.  You asked me to trust you and it has been the biggest gift of my life.  When you told me you wanted to have an OPEN adoption, I thought you had lost your mind, but you were so sure and confident, and now look.  Its such a good thing for all of us.  I’m asking you to put the same kind of trust in me.  We won’t know how it will turn out until we try.”  What the hell do you even SAY to that? 

So, now, my job is to push him to get the house ready to sell (my BIGGEST anxiety!), and to maintain a budget that works.  His job is to do whatever it takes to make this happen as painlessly for me as possible, and at the end of it to make sure he can tell me “I told you so.”

So folks, we’re building a house.  For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer.  With medication and without, and paying mortgage til death do us part.  We are.  Ground breaks Monday.



Filed under adoption, faith

8 responses to “A Wise Man Builds his House on a Rock

  1. Wow! Good luck!
    Oh, and on meds. would be the way that I would roll….


  2. *raises glass*
    Here’s to us (and anyone else who wants to join us)….
    To making big, life-changing decisions, to trusting that taking the hard road will pay off BIG, and to knowing that our partners have got our back the whole way.
    I’m super psyched for you. Only sad you’re not moving closer to me. lol

    • M.

      Lauren, I think those are the coolest, nicest and most supportive words I could have heard right now. Thank you. And yeah, only moving a mile from my current house, and not even in your direction 😉 Still planning to meet up sometime tho! *clinks glass*

  3. WOW. Exciting and terrifying….but it sounds like you are both on the same page, which is awesome. And don’t worry, we’ll just have fun via Facebook this summer — it’s free 🙂

  4. Lauren

    OMG Holiday World?! That’s close to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. StorkWatcher

    I know everyone has already said it, but WOW. Hub’s words were amazing. Way to pull out the big guns when things are bad, Mr, so your Mrs gets on the wagon…. He’ll be right – it will all be worth it some day!

    And you’ll have to let us all know when the Holiday world trip is – maybe several of us could meet up there. We’ve been wanting to try it out, and I know Mommamarci’s a fan of the place!

    • M.

      Uggggh, still have some pretty heavy moments where I think “WTH are we doing?!?” Pass me some more Buspar please. And as always, Stork, thanks for the support and positivity! As of yesterday we have our foundation, today they were supposed to pour the basement floor, but with rain and sleet, doubt they got it done. It is happening FAST. My biggest worry right now is making sure our current house sells, because that is a game-changer. It needs to sell quickly once we put it up and needs to sell WELL to keep our new mortgage down. it just wears me out thinking about it, much less doing what needs to be done. and still the hub says, “trust me.” He’s either a genious or the devil…still not sure which.

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