What Little Ears Hear

Just noticing, our little guy is all ears when we least expect him to be.  We can tell him to do something a hundred times and he continues on as if you said nothing.  You can raise your volume, ask him again, whatever.  He can’t hear you (or so it seems).  But rest assured, he IS listening.

In casually talking with other adults, if I mention the word “mom,” he’s listening (“How’s your mom doing these days?”).  He responds, “who are you talking about, MY mom?”  If I mention someone with his mom’s name, he is right there, asking, ” N?  My N.?”  He is always listening.  He wants to hear more.  He wants to know what we’re saying about her.  He is always on alert.  Its a cue to me that we probably need to initiate more conversations about N. with or around Woob.  It seems he craves it. 

A few times when N. has been on FB, I’ve told him she’s there and asked if he wanted me to email a message to her–each time, he excitedly says “yes”, and dictates a message along the lines of  “I saw you at your house and we should visit and I love you, Mom,” which I dutifully send exactly as spoken.  I wonder if that catches her off guard, but it seems to please her.  The other morning when he first woke up and we had just finished our good mornings and our snuggles, he made the proclamation that “we need to visit my mom more often.”  I did pass that proclamation on to her, and she said Woob is on their mind, too.  Woob’s little sister J. apparently told a random stranger the other day at the store that she wanted to see her Bubby now 😉 .  So, here’s hoping they’re able to come down to see us before the month is over.  We’re checking our calendars. 

I know I’m generalizing the behavior of my child onto others, but all of this makes me wonder about kiddos who grow up in homes where they know they were adopted, but nobody ever talks about it.  Their little ears must be on alert all the time, waiting to pick up pieces of information, cues about their family and how to feel about them.  It makes me wonder about the kiddos who don’t act like they’re listening, but they are, while their parents say unflattering things about their first parents, thinking their little ones aren’t paying attention.


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Filed under adoption, birthparents, open adoption

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