Wedding Whirl…

{For those of you who haven’t read here before, N. is my son Woob’s first mother.  This is the story of her wedding day.}

Saturday was Wedding Day for N. and S.  For those of you who read the previous posts, yes, I did find something to wear and yes, I did manage to decide on a gift I thought was appropriate for the occasion.  Neither of those things happened without way too much anxiety and energy, but that’s just my defective worry gene rearing its ugly head.  In the big picture, none of those things mattered.  They got married regardless of what I did or didn’t do or buy…and it was absolutely beautiful. 

The weekend was a little exhausting for several reasons.  Probably the biggest reason being that my job has been trying to kill me over the past three weeks.  I started the weekend with being just so tired, that I think it made it harder to do what needed to be done to prep for the wedding (shopping! packing! shopping! driving!).  Add the wedding and visit on top of that and my head is all awhirl with different emotions and thoughts about the way things are.  Its been hard for me to put events into neat little categories that will help other people understand, and parts of the story that I’ll probably never speak to any IRL friends or family about.  So many of the IRL people seem to be the CAUSE of a lot of the whirling and swirling in my head, as a matter of fact.  But here I’ll try my best to break it down.


Our little part of the world got pummelled with about three inches of rain on Thursday and Friday, which caused lots of flooding, mushiness, and just outright grumpiness for a lot of people.  Did I mention that N.’s wedding was to be an outdoor one (at her mom’s house)?  In addition to the wet dreariness, there has been quite a chill in the air as well.  It wasn’t boding well, but when I called to check on N. Friday to check the state of the union (haha, get it?), she was in good spirits, and totally committed to the whole outdoor thing, come hell or high water–literally.  It was cloudy for the full two hour drive to her town, but by the time we got there, there was full sunshine and a beautiful blue sky.  If you stood in the sun, you could manage to be comfortable in long sleeves and a sweater.  The afternoon weather was nothing short of a miracle.  Where there had been standing water in the yard yesterday, family and friends were gathering before the wedding, socializing and putting last minute touches in place.  Little weiner dogs were running around 🙂 and Woob was having fun petting them and reacquainting himself with his little sister, J.  Within 30 seconds of our arrival, the knees of Woob’s pants were covered in mud, because those little dogs were just too irresistable!  For the record, there is not enough “SHOUT” in the world to shout out what he did to those pants that day.  I started snapping pictures as soon as we got there–of the wedding setup, the cake/gift table, the guests as they milled around, the kiddos, and the family members that we know. 

I do think its kinda cool that we are able to attend an event like this and be welcomed, and that we know enough people to be comfortable (with very few exceptions) and to realize that there are no secrets there.  It seemed that everyone knew our role, and if they didn’t early on, N. never felt the need to hide the fact that Woob is her son and that we’ve adopted him. 

Before I go further, let me just set the scene…bright blue sky with a few swirly clouds, about 35-40 guests surrounding a wedding aisle lined with gorgeous gold and orange mums.  The aisle led to an arch which was twined with a fall leaf garland, and punctuated with more mums on each side.  The grass was thick and green from all the rain we had gotten this fall.  The groom and his groomsmen were all wearing brown pants with autumn-orange shirts.  Such a simple setting, but so pretty on a day like that.

We all finally got situated and music began playing and Granpa G. and N. peeked their heads out the back door to begin their procession.  Because I can’t let a good picture go untaken, I started walking around to get better shots.  Before very long, I realized that I was the ONLY ONE taking pictures.  The photographer didn’t show up, andI had unwittingly become the official photographer of this wedding with my little digital Canon, so didn’t really get to sit quietly in my seat to watch the ceremony.  And, oh…no pressure.

Walking down the aisle, I must say that N. looked so, absolutely beautiful.  She’s a rather tiny young woman, and as my son looks just like her, I think her face is absolutely beautiful.  I think I would think that even if he didn’t look like her.  That day, even moreso, all made up perfectly, and with her hilited auburn hair curled into sharp corkscrews a’la Shirley Temple.  Her white dress fit her beautifully–strapless, mermaid-style with a train, and with a back that laced up like lattice-work.  She was breathtaking, like all brides hope to be.  Her daddy walked her down the aisle and handed her to her new husband, who looked pretty serious and nervous, as many grooms do.  We’d never met S. before, so have no idea what he might be thinking, but he didn’t take his eyes off her the whole time they repeated their vows and exchanged rings, until their first kiss as a married couple.  N., for all her composure in the days prior to the wedding, had through the course of the ceremony, become a blubbery mess, however 🙂 .

The reception following the ceremony was held there in the yard and the garage, converted just for the occasion.  There was food and music, throwing of garters and bouquets, releasing of balloons, and cutting and eating of cake, with just a little bit of that cake flying through the air as the bride and groom smooshed it in each others faces.  And LOTS and LOTS of photos taken (130 I think??).

This could go on and on, so I’ll stop here and declare it the end of PART 1.  PART 2 to follow very soon.



Filed under adoption, birthparents, growing family, open adoption, things that make me smile

8 responses to “Wedding Whirl…

  1. Coming out of lurkerdom (you’ve been on my blog list forever) to say a) what a great story! I wish N the best of luck! and b) I nominated you as a Kreativ Blogger.


  2. Oh so glad it went well! What a gorgeous setting for a wedding. How amazing that you were there at all, let alone helping your son’s birthmom capture one of the most special times in her life.

    In an open arrangement, you just never know what roles you will play in each others’ lives. Wedding photographer? Who would have guessed ? But it worked!

    Can’t wait to hear more….

  3. Thanks for your comment on my blog – looking forward to reading about your journey…

  4. Coco

    NO! You cannot leave me hanging.

    Is this revenge for all those series posts I did this year?

    I kid.

    Lovely imagery here and I can’t wait to read more.

    • M.

      Oh, Coco…so sorry to leave you hanging. Now that you say it, it WAS particularly anxiety provoking waiting for your story to unfold… 😉 I’ve got two problems…how to work in a whole post in this crazy life of mine, and also how to tell the rest of the weekend story while using the right words so as to be sensitive to everyone. Every time I start, it doesn’t seem quite right.

  5. Pingback: Wedding Whirl PART 2 « Letters to a Birthmother

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