Goin’ to the Chapel…

Another chapter in our evolving family will begin this fall, as Woob’s first mom is getting married.

Yep, married. And my overly-invested heart/mind is flip flopping over this. On one hand, I’m all “uh, oh–her track record over the past few years in picking men has been less than stellar,”(NO, I’m not simply being judgmental–if you haven’t heard the story straight from me,  which came staight from her you’ll just have to believe what I say), and “but she hardly KNOWS this person!” On the other hand, I’m all “GREAT, I hope she’s found somebody who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated,” and “It will be great to have some stability for both her and the girls for a change,” and “awww, LOVE!”

I hate that.  Why can’t I JUST be the supportive, happy person who accepts things at face value?  Shouldn’t it be enough for me that she’s over the moon for this guy and feeling happy?  That he’s employed and feels protective of her and the girls?  Shouldn’t I MEET him before getting all dubious about him?  I wonder if its a motherly/protective feeling thing I have going here or simply my own control issues coming out?

So…

What I do know is this:

  • She’s getting married in October and making plans for the wedding as we speak.
  • She’s having fun with the whole thing (Yay, N.!)
  • They are living in a house together, and have been for about the past two months.
  • Her mom AND her dad both like this guy (and they rarely agree on anything!)
  • I’ve seen a picture of him on myspace.
  • He’s age-appropriate for her (by my own standards, I understand not everyone agrees with me on what age appropriate is.)
  • He’s employed, and has been, stably, for awhile.
  • He’s not on the sex offender’s registry. (Please don’t judge me for checking–its public record.)
  • We will be getting an invitation in the mail.
  • What’s good for N. is good for Woob.

I like the idea of this.  I want it to be the fairy tale.  She needs something good in her life–the past few years have been so hard for her and the past year in particular has been pure crap.  Please join me in praying, chanting, doing whatever it is that you do, that this becomes N.’s “happily ever after.”  White horse, and all.

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4 Comments

Filed under adoption, growing family, open adoption

4 responses to “Goin’ to the Chapel…

  1. I do hope it works out for her…

  2. I think it’s wonderful, if she’ll end up with a stable, loving man.

    I think it’s purely normal to be so suspicious and worried about her,given the fact that she’s Woob’s birthmom. And that your family will probably have ongoing contact with this new person in her life for a very long time, if not forever.

    Wishing her all the best! She deserves it.

  3. Marci

    Oh, I am happy for her! After all she has been through she deserves a ‘happily ever after.’ I really hope this is it!

  4. tk91

    I don’t think your thoughts or concerns in this area are unfounded or overly protective. If I were in your situation, I could imagine thinking much the same. Thanks for being so real and honest about what you are thinking/pondering. I think all involved in open adoption need to do so. It is not an easy road for either anyone in the adoption triad to walk.

    Best Wishes to “N” for a healthy, nurturing union!

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