…but yet, I persevere! I think this “assignment” was due by the beginning of this week…but that seems to be a trend these days, so my new mantra is “better late than never!”
This installment of Open Adoption Roundtable, brought to you buy HeatherPNR, asks us to write about a small moment that open adoption made possible. Honestly, when I first read this, I thought it would be easy! So many moments have been made possible by the openness we share with N. and her family. But then it seemed to be a very big task to pull out one small moment. So I just put it on the back burner.
Then such a moment came the other day that seemed so perfect even in its simplicity.
Woob loves the idea of motorcycles, even though we are not a motoring family. “I want to get a motorcycle!”, he says often. And we reply, with humor, “of course you can have a motorcycle–when you turn 21 and can affort to buy it yourself!” So he goes around telling everyone proudly that when he’s 21 he’s getting a motorcycle. Told his daycare teacher that this morning as a matter of fact! So while he was in the tub the other night, I was reading to him from the “MOTORCYCLES!” book that has lots of pictures and explanations and bike parts and such. He again reminded me about what he perceives to be his 21st birthday present. I replied,”but you know, neither Mommy or Daddy knows how to ride a motorcycle. Who do you think will teach you?” Without missing a beat, he smiled and said “J. and M. (his two sisters who are almost 2 and 1 year old)!” When I laughed, and asked, “really? You think they’ll be able to teach you?” he giggled and said “no, that’s silly! They’re just babies!”
One of the reasons I pursued openness is for the fact that I wanted Woob to know any siblings he had as he grew up. I feared that there would be family out there floating around that he would never know, never be able to depend on, never even possibly know they existed! This little exchange showed me that he knows exactly who his sisters are, even if he hasn’t spent tons of time with them, that he thinks about them, and puts them into some category of “People Who are in My Life”. I also know his first mom enjoys riding four wheelers, and I could envision years into the future all of them riding together (though it scares the heck out of me!).
I followed up that conversation asking “you’ve been thinking about your sisters?” He nods. “Would you like to see them sometime soon?” And he answered, “Yeah! and Granpa G. (N’s dad) can come along too!”