Not Cool

Okay.  So I get it that people don’t really have great filters between their brains and their mouths.  I get it that a lot of people don’t “get” how adoption works, especially open adoption.  I get it that people probably think we’re crazy to have relationships (friendly ones, even!) with Woob’s first family.  I do. 

So when someone pops out with the tired old, “aren’t you afraid his mother or whatever you call her will come back and take him,” I’m pretty confident with my response.  When the same someone, upon finding that Woob has two sisters, implies that my son’s first mother has questionable morals by labeling her “loosey goosey,”  I get a little pissed and less friendly.  When that same someone, in a totally different and unrelated part of our time spent together, discloses that she discovered her OWN son’s secret stash of condoms, but somehow infers that this is okay, I want to scream!!

Let’s recap, shall we?

Teen girl + sex + pregnancy = slut

Teen boy + sex + unknown results (he could have 10 kids out there for all we know!) = okay/normal

We won’t debate here today about whether or not teens should be having sex at all–that’s another post.  We won’t debate anything related to birth control and responsibility because we all know people who use birth control and got pregnant, and we also know people who purchase condoms that don’t use them, so we shouldn’t make assumptions. 

But I have to defend my girl, here–  The only reason she’s been deemed “loose” in this scenario, is because she’s got the living, breathing proof that she’s done the deed.  NEWSFLASH:  There are young girls and boys who sleep around all over town who DON”T get pregnant, and if your son is one of them, then don’t go judging and making assumptions about other people.

*steps down off her soapbox*



Filed under adoption, birthparents, parenthood, vent

2 responses to “Not Cool

  1. Coco

    Ah, yes. The old double standard is alive and well.

    Boys can’t help themselves, girls are either madonnas or whores, and babies show up because of low-cut tops.


  2. Wow, I wish I had an open adoption. This blog is so cool. It’s what I would love as a birth mom I think

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