Monthly Archives: December 2008

A BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING

The Christmas season is upon us, and too many things are swirling around. I’m in my car a lot between getting to and from work, Woob’s haircut, shopping over lunch hours, and the usual errands. I listen to the radio a lot and hear songs. This year, there’s a song from Faith Hill that puts me in tears every time. It gets me going on a few different levels. when I first heard it, I didn’t know it was a Christmas song, and I thought it was about a single girl getting pregnant (which it IS, but…), and that made me think about adoption from the perspective of the mother feeling like she must place. And I cried. Then as I listened and realized it was about the birth of Christ, and the hope that He brings to us, well, I cried. Then I started thinking about it in terms of my own role as a mother and the changes that my baby has brought to me, the renewal in my life. You guessed it, I cried. Here are the words:

Teenage girl much too young
Unprepared for what’s to come
A baby changes everything

Not a ring on her hand
All her dreams and all her plans
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything

The man she loves she’s never touched
How will she keep his trust
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything

And she cries
Ooh she cries
Oh ohhh…

She has to leave, go far away
Heaven knows she can’t stay
A baby changes everything

She can feel it’s coming soon
There’s no place there’s no room
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything

And she cries
And she cries
Oh she cries

Shepherds all gather ’round
Up above the star shines down
A baby changes everything

Choir of angels sing
Glory to the newborn king
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything
Everything, everything, everything
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

My whole life has turned around
I was lost, but now I’m found
A baby changes everything, yeah
A baby changes everything

Heaven knows what people think of me as they see me driving around in my car. Some days, I’m a mess!

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under adoption

New Kids Book about Open Adoption

Not an endorsement, because I haven’t seen it, but I got this email this morning:

Open Adoption & Family Services Announces

 

RAIN OR SHINE

Rain or Shine

 
written by adoptive mom Hilary Horder Hippely
illustrated by former OA&FS counselor Margaret Godfrey

Finn has a happy life with his mother and father. Every summer he looks forward to the birthday celebration that will reunite him with his rich extended family, particularly his birthmother, Lisa. But when clouds threaten, Finn wonders how his much-loved birthday traditions can continue.

With love and honesty, Rain or Shine celebrates the possibilities of life, love, and family.

Purchase your copy today at www.openadopt.org

Rain or Shine is a long overdue, well written and beautifully illustrated children’s book. The story is a realistic reflection of a child growing up in an open adoption; the illustrations and language demonstrate the actual emotions of the participants. I love that it takes place after several years of this child’s life in open adoption which offers some true history as to how these relationships unfold. This book is a must have…!”
Sharon Roszia, M.S.
Kinship Center®, California and Co-Author of The Open Adoption Experience
 
Rain or Shine is a lovely children’s book that I have just started reading to my school aged adoptees and their families, as a way to open the topic of extended families, in a non-threatening way. I especially like the way Rain or Shine normalizes the gaps in contact that often occur in open-adoptions. The simple, yet powerful page at the end of the book highlighting child-centered adoptions completes the message. Rain or Shine illustrates open-heartedness in open adoption.”
Leslie Foge, MA, MFT
Co-Author of The Third Choice: A Woman’s Guide to Placing a Child for Adoption
 
“It is refreshing to finally have a book that honors the emotions and relationships beyond the adoptive family. Thank you OA&FS for this amazing resource!”
Astrid Dabbeni
Executive Director of Adoption Mosaic
 
“…Rain or Shine tells the story of Finn, a young boy in an open adoption who looks forward to gathering with his extended family to celebrate his eighth birthday. The plotline focuses on how the family will salvage the party if it rains on the big day, but the real strength of the book lies in its depiction of a healthy open adoption. The simple story and fun details will engage young readers. Sensitive and well-written, Rain or Shine is a welcome addition to the small but growing list of children’s books about open adoption.”
Heather
Adoptive Mother and writer for
openadoptionsupport.com

   

Open Adoption & Family Services is a non-profit agency with a progressive approach to building healthy families. Founded in 1985, Open Adoption & Family Services remains the Northwest leader in open adoption.  

Child-centered open adoptions begin with a close and trusting relationship between birthparents and adoptive parents. This unique partnership acknowledges not only the parties’ mutual respect and shared love for the child, but also their separate and distinct roles. Most importantly, the open adoption model works for the child because it eliminates secrecy by giving the child direct access to information and support from birthparents. From the very beginning, open adoption allows the child to blend the two parts of their family story and develop a healthy sense of identity and self-esteem.

Learn more at: 
www.openadopt.org

 

Heather PNR, is that YOU who wrote the review that’s included here??  🙂

Happy Reading!

2 Comments

Filed under adoption

Good Stuff

Despite the general gloominess of my blog lately, things here are pretty darn good.  Despite the fact that hubby is in bed looking simply puny with a temp of 101.5, and my kid is coughing like there’s no tomorrow, I’m doing really well.  I had an extra day off work today and got a few things done around the house.  I was able to buy a few Christmas presents (finally), and I was able to meet sme deadlines prior to leaving work for Thanksgiving.  We’re planning a visit for this weekend to N.’s (hoping hubby starts feeling better by then).

My boy is growing strong and smart and knows important facts and states them way out loud to whoever will listen, “Pee comes out my PEEEnis.  Poop comes out my BUTT!”  Basic biology…check.  He has a wicked sense of humor and can recite old time Bugs Bunny cartoons in proper voice.  He sings funny songs like “old MacDonald had a shark” and loves all things football, baseball, soccer, and golf.  And air hockey.  And cars.  And, and, and.  Christmas is going to be soooooo fun this year.  He looks through the toy catalogs on Sundays and goes over it a million times, “What’s THAT?  I want THAT!  What’s THAT?”  He told Santa he wanted power tools 😉  He knows that someday he will play for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and will tell anyone who asks that “Kentucky is YUCKY!”  He’ll say the same about Dallas Cowboys.  He’ll also let you know (as his grandmother told him,) that his Daddy brainwashed him. 

There are a hundred times a day that are just plain hard.  Potty training has gone three steps forward and 90 steps back.  I lose my temper sometimes and of course, my patience.  But then I am remeinded that my buddy likes hot chocolate, and wants nothing more than to go outside and play even though its 32 degrees, and raining, and that Buzz Lightyear boots make the world go round, and my heart melts.

I don’t know why I deserve the blessing of him in my life every day, but am so thankful that I have it. 

Happy Belated Thanksgiving.

5 Comments

Filed under adoption, motherhood, not much, things that make me smile

The Time is Coming

Woob has a baby in his belly.  Or so he says.  There have been babies absolutely in everyone’s bellies around here lately, so why not his too? 

Ah those dreaded conversations about where babies come from made all the more complicated by adoption: “Yes, Ms. Alice had a baby in her tummy and now is home taking care of her baby.  Cousin J. has a baby in her belly and will take that baby home and we’ll play with him.  No, little boys don’t get babies in their bellies.  No, Mommy doesn’t have a baby in her belly.  Oh, Mama N.?  Yes she has a baby in her belly.  Baby J. was in her belly, too, and so were you, once.” 

And from there it gets a little harder to explain. 

Keep it simple, keep it simple.  Breathe.  Keep it simple.

7 Comments

Filed under adoption, birthparents, infertility, adoption, open adoption