To the Man Two Rows Up

Dear Sir from Church:

Please know that your ever-so-NOT-subtle glares towards us from two rows up were noticed and so appreciated.  Without your very helpful and sympathetic gestures (cough, cough) I would have never guessed that my little two year old’s behavior was somewhat disruptive.  I’m sure that your children were always VERY well behaved in church when they were little, though now they are fully grown, so it may be hard for you to remember.

You see, when I started out my day, it was with the perfect plan that the childcare people who were on schedule for this morning just would not show up.  I purposely told my boy that he’d get to play with the kids in childcare at church just to get him worked up so that when it didn’t pan out he’d be a little upset.  Who knew that even though I left church once with him in tow because of his disruptive behavior, that it would escalate once out the doors by the cry room.  Yes, we have a lovely cry room at our church.  Have you ever visited there to see how comfortable it is??  There’s plenty of room for 15 people, even though there are 25 in there, and its about 200 degrees.  Kids LOVE it!  Mine just wasn’t in the mood for that kind of fun this morning.  Sorry.

I’m sure you meant well with your glare-of-doom-and-hellfire when he had mostly calmed down and I brought him back in.  I know you were interested in the homily, as was I.  Thing is, I kind of believe in keeping my kid in church if I can at all because he hasn’t heard it all before.  I’m sure you, with your strong caring and Christian leanings have heard the Mass once or twice.  You know how the story ends, right?  Actually, when you give out looks like that to frustrated moms, it just makes things that much easier for her blood pressure to go down and calm her child.  Its like magic.

I know, I know.  I’m one of those crazy parents who doesn’t believe in spanking a child.  Especially in church.  Especially when I’m angry.  Especially when the kiddo is already as agitated as he’s going to get.  Crazy me–I always thought that adding a spanking would further escalate things and make the child cry harder.  But what do I know?

True, I could’ve left him with my husband at home.  That would have solved everything.  Except I couldn’t because he was returning his family members to the airport after a flight in for his brother’s funeral.  Even your nasty glare couldn’t help that one, sorry.

I thank you this morning for your compassion.  It made things so much easier as I left church after only 20 minutes and it took the same amount of time to fight my kiddo into the carseat in the 85 degree heat because he wanted to go back to church.  It eased my frustration so much to know you cared and understood.


I’m home now, and calmed and my boy is facing his consequences, knowing since he threw a fit in chuch  we couldn’t go to Bob Evans with the grandparents and he can’t play games on the computer.  I do take care of things and there are consequences.  Some things I have control over, and others I don’t.  Its been a long week, not just for me and P2R, but also for Woob.  I’m tryng to provide some semblance of order again and its rough.  I know my kid’s can be a pain in the butt.  Its no secret.  Your obvious contempt for a little noise just made it that much harder for me to deal with things and was NOT appreciated.  It made me feel small and helpless and stupid.  Probably your intent.  Well done.

This morning just brought to mind for me the quote on Judy’s blog–“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” (Plato).



Filed under adoption

3 responses to “To the Man Two Rows Up

  1. Marci

    Oh yuck! We had Cam in church with us one week because he was throwing fits in the nursery. There was a lovely woman in front of us giving him death glares. We also left early…

    Sometimes people stink.

  2. Gee, what a warm fuzzy from Mass!! That completely stinks and how incredibly exhausting after the week you’ve had. People can be so ridiculous sometimes!

  3. StorkWatcher

    Oooh I’ve been there. I”m with you. I take mine out if it’s absolutely necessary, but come on — How will a child learn to sit still in church, listen to and watch what’s going on, and actually GET something out of church unless we give them the chance to learn how to get through that hour???? And maybe, just maybe, the priest would have said one small thing during the homily that would have broken through to you while you were wrestling and shushing the little guy, and that one tiny thought would have make your week better, or made you feel God’s presence.

    You deserve that chance. Woobie deserves the chance for you to be his teacher.

    Mr. Man 2 rows away needs to move to the other side of church…….

    Oh, and Peace Be With You!

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