I am ALWAYS happy to hear from N. Time comes and goes and I lose sight of our last contact, whether it was phone, email or visit (for the record, the last visit was in March, around Woob’s birthday). I worry I was supposed to initiate something or wonder as time goes on if I’ve done something to create a distance, but realistically know that just as I am a mom of a two year old, working full time and meeting local family obligations, she is a mom of a 6 month old, working full time, going to school and also meeting other obligations. So time moves faster than we’d like. But I still worry.
So I make that first move, with an email that says “Hi” in the subject line, send a little update with a lot of pictures. I wonder if I send too many, if she thinks we’re over the top. I wonder if I call, will she be busy and bothered. I wonder when I don’t hear back if there’s a Real Reason or if its not that important, or if she even got the message. There’s always so much wondering in this relationship, and it appears to be all my doing, my own insecurity.
Because before I know it, there’s a call or an email in return, letting me know all is well, the baby is growing and “we have to get together soon!” and “you can never send too many pictures!” and “lets set a date!”
She’s a lovely young woman, she loves her babies, and she wants to keep the connection going. She’s patient with me when I’m running late with things like pictures and updates. She’s going to be here as Woob grows so he’ll always know her and at least have a basis for a relationship if he wants one into his adulthood. She’s got answers. She’s got the keys to the rest of Woob’s family. Knowing she’s okay makes me feel better, for Woob and for myself.
I know that a few years ago, when we first met, none of this was thought to be a possibility. How blessed we are, I am that we are where we are today.
(Next visit likely in two weeks! Woob gets to see his little sister for the second time and I bet she has grown so much!)