What I Want is Not Always What I Want

Its Saturday morning.  Woob was stirring at the crazy hour of 5 a.m., even after being up until 10 last night meeting some out of town cousins for the first time.  Big excitement, lots of attention and applause, total exhaustion.  Yet, still, 5 a.m.  Waiting ten minutes resulted in another 50 minutes of sleep, yet 6 a.m. came all too quick, and this time, he wasn’t giving up.  Lord help me, he was up for the day.  And grouchy.  After all, he’d been up til 10 and it was only 6 a.m.  We honor the usual routine–hug, diaper, milk and dry cereal, with the demand to “GO DOWNSTAIRS!” (which is where the DVD’s are).  Yesterday, I thought we’d make our way to the pool nearby, but the weather guy predicted rain.  Ditched that plan, but yannow, it sure is pretty and sunshiny out this morning.  Lay on the couch, rest my eyes, Little buddy lets me go just long enough to let me think I”m getting away with it.  All too soon, he’s stuffing cereal into my mouth and yelling “WAKE UP!!  MOM!!  WAKE UP!!”  He’s cute that way.

Then something really unexpected happens.  DH comes down and asks if Woob wants to go to town with him.  According to Woob, “town” is a mythical place you can never really get to though it is something wonderful.  Whenever we go to town, whether it be W*almart, H*me Dep*t, or Chuck E Ch**se’s, when we’re done, he’s disappointed because he really wanted to go to town, instead!  Anyway, before I know it, Woob’s backpack is packed, a grocery list is made, he’s out of his jammies and following his daddy out the door. 

It is Saturday morning before 9:30 a.m. and I am in my house completely alone.  I can’t remember that this has ever happened since Woob was born.  EVER.  And its rather nice.  But rather odd and uncomfortable.  I don’t know what to do.  Laundry is running, house is “clean” (ish), lawn is mowed.  I don’t know what is on tv on Saturday for grown ups.  I recently finished my “vacation” read.  Its quiet.  I’m keeping my eye out for the truck that could pull in any time now.  I’ve lost the ability to enjoy the peace and alone time, even when I think that’s what I want. 

My peace comes now with the chaos that is my family.  I’ll hug them extra hard when they get back.  In the meantime, I think I’m going to try to take a mid-morning nap.

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1 Comment

Filed under adoption, motherhood, not much, reflection, things that make me smile

One response to “What I Want is Not Always What I Want

  1. What a sweet story. Thanks for sharing!

    I grew up in the country and we always used that phrase “going to town.”

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