Monthly Archives: June 2008

From the Toddler’s Mouth

Just getting back from a very long trip, we stopped at Mickey D’s many times, as they were most consistent with changing tables for the Woob (Attention:  Arby’s, Wendy’s, PLEASE get changing tables–its not that hard.  You serve children’s meals for goodness sakes!!).  Woob was in chicken nugget, apple dippin’ heaven!

Cue to one week later.  Last night as I was putting him in bed, I was explaining he needed sleep for the big day on Sunday.  “We’re going to the family reunion and will see all your cousins.  But we’ll have to get in the car and drive a long way.  We’re going on a trip!!”  To which he replied, “A trip!!  COOL!!  McDonalds!!”  🙂





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Filed under adoption, motherhood, not much, things that make me smile

What I Want is Not Always What I Want

Its Saturday morning.  Woob was stirring at the crazy hour of 5 a.m., even after being up until 10 last night meeting some out of town cousins for the first time.  Big excitement, lots of attention and applause, total exhaustion.  Yet, still, 5 a.m.  Waiting ten minutes resulted in another 50 minutes of sleep, yet 6 a.m. came all too quick, and this time, he wasn’t giving up.  Lord help me, he was up for the day.  And grouchy.  After all, he’d been up til 10 and it was only 6 a.m.  We honor the usual routine–hug, diaper, milk and dry cereal, with the demand to “GO DOWNSTAIRS!” (which is where the DVD’s are).  Yesterday, I thought we’d make our way to the pool nearby, but the weather guy predicted rain.  Ditched that plan, but yannow, it sure is pretty and sunshiny out this morning.  Lay on the couch, rest my eyes, Little buddy lets me go just long enough to let me think I”m getting away with it.  All too soon, he’s stuffing cereal into my mouth and yelling “WAKE UP!!  MOM!!  WAKE UP!!”  He’s cute that way.

Then something really unexpected happens.  DH comes down and asks if Woob wants to go to town with him.  According to Woob, “town” is a mythical place you can never really get to though it is something wonderful.  Whenever we go to town, whether it be W*almart, H*me Dep*t, or Chuck E Ch**se’s, when we’re done, he’s disappointed because he really wanted to go to town, instead!  Anyway, before I know it, Woob’s backpack is packed, a grocery list is made, he’s out of his jammies and following his daddy out the door. 

It is Saturday morning before 9:30 a.m. and I am in my house completely alone.  I can’t remember that this has ever happened since Woob was born.  EVER.  And its rather nice.  But rather odd and uncomfortable.  I don’t know what to do.  Laundry is running, house is “clean” (ish), lawn is mowed.  I don’t know what is on tv on Saturday for grown ups.  I recently finished my “vacation” read.  Its quiet.  I’m keeping my eye out for the truck that could pull in any time now.  I’ve lost the ability to enjoy the peace and alone time, even when I think that’s what I want. 

My peace comes now with the chaos that is my family.  I’ll hug them extra hard when they get back.  In the meantime, I think I’m going to try to take a mid-morning nap.

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We’re Home–With a Vengeance

We got back into town Sunday afternoon.  How was your vacation, you might ask?  Well….Lovely, but stressful.  Beautiful scenery and weather, but no relaxation.  Wonderful beach house, but full of 16 of us.  Quick recap…left Friday morning with Woob and niece in tow.  God bless the inventor of laptops and DVDs.  The trip was loooong, but the kiddos were happy as long as something was playing.  In two days of travel there, about 16 hours in the car, Woob only slept about a half hour.  He was a trooper.  Once there, it only took one day before my brother in law put the smackdown (verbal) on my mom, thus setting the scene for a week of occasional drama, hurt feelings and side comments. Weee!  By day three, evening entertainment consisted of a rousing game of b**r pong by the grown ups after the kiddos had gone to bed.  By day four, my boy was becoming blonder and sporting a little tan.  He loved the sand, loved the water, loved the boogie board, loved the pool, and loved the lack of structure.  And just when we were starting to settle in, it was time to go home.  Woob got carsick before we were 3 minutes down the road, and as soon as we got him and the car cleaned up and on the road again, he got sick again.  We’ll just say the trip home was, er, a little more eventful than the trip over.

But because we’re adventurers, we timed Woob’s first day at the new daycare center for Monday.  You know, while his whole structure and world is upside down, lets throw in a few more challenges, right??  I gotta tell you, again, the Woob is a trooper like no other.  He had done so well with the change and getting back on schedule at home, it is amazing to me.  And it seems like over the past two weeks, somehow he’s older, talking more, more independent.  See, the new care center has expectations, far exceeding those that we have for our 2 year old.  “Family style dining” at lunch, the ability to make decisions about what to do next, learning to dress yourself, even if it means walking around for a while with two legs in one pants hole, weird things like cleaning up your own messes before you make a new one.  Something TOTALLY unheard of here…paint and fingerpaint, just sitting around for when you want to paint a picture on a whim.  Thats the kind of things that happen in the two’s room.  And get this…they’re already working on potty training.  He won’t touch it with a ten foot pole at home.  Every day he’s sat on the potty at least once there, and today’s report said that he sat on the potty this morning and WENT!  Um, he’s been going there for four days–What is going on in that crazy place?  By the time he moves to the three’s room, I’m sure he’ll be ready for his learner’s permit!

Work has been rather crazy as well, with phone calls, phone calls, projects, requests, catching up with what didn’t get done before I left and more short deadlines.  I’ll just add that I manage a staff of four.  Guess how many of them are currently expecting bouncing babies?  3 of the four, that’s how many.  I love them, I’m happy for them, I just don’t understand how infertiles become magnetic somehow with the whole pregnancy thing.  I’m fine with it in the big picture, but just got the news on the most recent one yesterday.  She’s due three weeks after my due date would have been.  Happy for them, sad for me.  I’ve had practice with that.

On the home front, we’ve entered the annual month of family reunions/graduation parties.  At least one per weekend for the next month.  One weekend we have three. Then in August we have a niece’s wedding in which P2R and Woob are both in it.  Its an outside ceremony one state over.  I hope J. doesn’t expect Woob to actually perform all his duties like it plays out in her mind, I just don’t think its realistic.  This weekend a nephew is coming in from CA.  He and his wife, whom we’ve met once, have never met Woob at all, so they’re excited to meet him and play with him.  They’ll be so surprised how be he is!  And handsome!

We haven’t spoken to N. lately.  She and C. both got jobs recently at a nearby factory and work second shift, so its hard for me to know when to call.  I have emailed and asked about a visit soon, but really it has to be totally in their court to deal with their particular schedule.  We’ll be happy to go there, as I know its easier for us to travel with Woob than for them to travel with Baby J.  Email is such a dodgy way to communicate for us, though, because they aren’t online in their home, and have to log on when they can elsewhere.  I miss her.  Woob is starting to talk about her.  If I say something about N, he’ll add on “And C?  And J?”  He knows they all go together.  We’ve always referred to her as “Mama N.” with him, and now I’m starting to talk about her growing him in her belly and her being his birthmama, hoping he’ll be getting more specific messages about their relationship.

So.  I’m at the point where I could really use a vacation from my vacation, but its not going to happen.  For now I’ll hold tight to the beachy pictures I took, and do some visualization exercises when I get the chance.  Hoping it’ll hold me over till the next time.



Filed under adoption, birthparents, infertility, adoption, open adoption, things that make me smile

Closer to Outta Here

Hi, Friends!  I’ve been pretty MIA on my writing, but still here, behind the scenes living and reading about your lives and commenting here and there.  The spring weather has finally hit so we spend so much more time outside in the evening and at lunch times so there’s been less time for writing.  But I’m here mulling things over…still always mulling.  And enjoying my boy who amazes me every day in exploration of new words, phrases, activities and imagination.  And procrastinating on the whole packing thing. 

We are less than 48 hours away from our departure to this small paradise in Outer Banks, and I haven’t yet packed even the smallest bottle of sunscreen.  I work late tonight and a full day tomorrow, so Thursday night will have to be my time to bust it full force and get it done.  I am SOOO looking forward to the trip!  But I am SOOO not looking forward to the long drive to the coast.  M*pquest estimates the trip to take about 14 hours.  I’m sure M*pquest doesn’t add in time for traveling with non-potty trained, wiggly toddler boys.  We do plan to stay overnight somewhere on Friday night, and we will be blessed with the assistance of my 10 year old niece in the back seat.  My sister and her family as well as my mom and dad are all driving STRAIGHT THROUGH.  We may be crazy, but we’re not stupid, so it will be a two-legged trip for us both ways.  Any advice for this kind of trip would be welcome, as the longest we’ve ever traveled by car with Woob is a few hours.  And you may remember what the plane ride to and from Boston was like last year…


For my Catholic friends/readers (and even those of you who aren’t), I’ve got a new favorite non-adoption-related blog is  She answers questions about Catholicism, her life, just about anything and puts everything into perspective with stories and her own brand of wit and wisdom.  I have been in tears laughing a few times as I looked through some of the archives.  (Storkwatcher:  a special note to you–she knows all the patron saints and their stories!!)


Tomorrow is Woob’s last day at J’s daycare, and although he is totally oblivious to that fact, we are all feeling rather sad about it.  In honor of his last day, the group is taking a field trip to the zoo and McDonalds if it doesn’t rain.  I won’t be able to go, but Papa2Roo will be along for the fun.  I’m trying to think of an appropriate gift for J. but am seriously running out of time!  Any suggestions are welcome here as well!

We have been able to take Woob twice to spend lengthy periods of time phasing into the new child care center, which is awesome.  P2R took him one day for about an hour and a half and I did the same last Friday.  In between times, P2R has been taking him after daycare each day to the new center’s playground.  Hopefully it won’t be such a big shock when we leave him there on that first day…I know its probably worse for us than for him.  I don’t know if there’s anything we could do differently to help smooth the transition.  Change is hard.

Some of you are curious about how I handled the adoption information on our care center paperwork.  I looked for openings to talk with the care providers one to one, there were always little eyes and ears around.  It seemed like more of an “office” conversation to me.  After about a week I finally wrote on the form something to the likes of “Woob was adopted at birth and we maintain an open adoption with his first family, which means we all keep in contact often through visits, mail, etc.  He has a little sister who lives with his first family as well.  You may hear him refer to his first family.  Any/all discussion or questions regarding this should be directed to us–we are happy to help educate staff about adoption in general, and Woob’s story as necessary in relation to his care.”  Probably could’ve done better, could’ve done worse…


Woob is starting to do such cute things…really into the whole pretending about puppydogs.  Either he is one or he is talking to one all the time.  He pants and barks and sits.  He pretends his french fries are bones and tries to whistle and say “here, boy!  A bone!” 

He tried to feed the neighbor’s cat some rocks the other day…”Here Targer (Tiger).  Bite this rock.  Eat it!”  “Targer” was less than excited about the prospect of rocks for lunch, but is a pretty good sport when it comes to being chased around by the Woob.  Our own cat won’t have anything to do with him and hides during waking hours.  So Woob has claimed Targer for his own, and we are not allowed to pet him because “Targer is MY kitty cat.  MY Kitty.”  Oh, we have reached the age of “MINE,” and what fun we are having with that…heh.

He can sing along all the words to Mary Had a Little Lamb (all the verses!), Happy Birthday, and that blasted “Life is a Highway” song from Cars.  He wants that one on the radio EVERY. Morning. in the car.  Over. And. Over.

I never really pictured “two” as this much fun and this adorable.  Not that we don’t have our moments…but still, really, really cute.  I love him with everything I have inside me.


Happy day!  As soon as we get back from our trip, I will be shipping my unopened IVF meds to a cyberfriend of mine.  As I told her, just seeing it in the fridge every day as I grab a Coke, really pisses me off, especially since I received the bill for it the day I found out I was losing the pregnancy.  I want it gone.  She’s getting a deal (and hopefully a BFP!!) and I’ll be able to replenish a tiny bit of my bank account.  I totally suck for charging anything at all, but did I mention that bank account??  You know, the empty one??


I just ordered makeup from the deal that TGM posted, and I can’t wait til the shipment comes!! It’ll be like Christmas morning at my house!  I may not even be done ordering yet.  Check it out if you haven’t yet!


A post I want to write refers back to Nicole’s question about do you want your open adoption relationships to be more like houseguests or family, which piggy backs onto TGM’s question about what would be your ideal open adoption.  I need time to think about them both together and make intelligent words come out the other side, but both of those girls keep me thinking with their posts.  If you don’t read them, please ask yourself, “why, why don’t I read those blogs?”  And then answer yourself by shooting over there and doing so.


I just read “The Secret Life of Bees,” remembering Jenna’s post last year.  A good, quick read.  Touches on lots of adoption related issues, though its not a book about adoption:  loss of mother, loss in general, grief, depression, exploration of “family,” race, etc.  The bonus is you get to learn a little about bees and keeping them along the way.  No real review here, but just wanted you to know it was a good one if you were looking for some summer reading that wasn’t trashy romance.


Hi HeatherPNR!  Thanks for checking in on me.  Its nice to be thought of 🙂


So there you have it!  Random?  Yes!  But it felt good to just keep the conversation going with you all out there!



Filed under adoption, birthparents, infertility, adoption, mamahood, not much, open adoption, things that make me smile