- After getting ready to leave the house, leave liquid makeup bottle on the vanity.
- Leave your inquisitive 2-year-old with his distracted daddy for a few hours and go do some grocery shopping. At this early stage in the process, the 2-year-old will inevitably be drawn to the makeup and daddy won’t see while it is being spilled onto the cream colored hallway carpet. Trust me.
- Come home to grouchy family members and try desperately to get the stain out of the carpet, but realize that without some really special not-yet-known-chemical, you’re just gonna have to live with the stain.
- Spend about a month walking through the hallway, becoming shocked each time, thinking you’re gonna step in a puddle of kitty puke, as the stain catches your eye.
- More or less get used to the stain.
- Begin potty training your 2-year-old.
- Occasionally he’ll ask to sit on the potty. Let him! While turning for a second to throw away the diaper he was wearing, he will most likely run streaking and shrieking into the living room butt naked!
- Try not to overreact like your husband does when said 2-year-old pees gleefully ALL over the living room carpet, his shirt and his socks.
- Try not to laugh as you corral your child and wipe him down and force him to put on a new diaper. This is especially hard, because the child will most likely be saying something along the lines of, “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHA!! That Foooooneeeee! HAHAHA!! That Foooooneee Mommy!! HAHAHA!!!”
- Leave the house with your 2-year-old for a few hours. When you return home, your husband will have cleaned and recleaned the living room and hallway carpets using the new stain remover stuff you bought a few weeks ago and never got around to using.
Follow these instructions and you, too, can have clean and fresh-smelling carpets throughout your home!