How to Get Your Carpets Cleaned in 10 Easy Steps

  1. After getting ready to leave the house, leave liquid makeup bottle on the vanity. 
  2. Leave your inquisitive 2-year-old with his distracted daddy for a few hours and go do some grocery shopping.  At this early stage in the process, the 2-year-old will inevitably be drawn to the makeup and daddy won’t see while it is being spilled onto the cream colored hallway carpet.  Trust me.
  3. Come home to grouchy family members and try desperately to get the stain out of the carpet, but realize that without some really special not-yet-known-chemical, you’re just gonna have to live with the stain.
  4. Spend about a month walking through the hallway, becoming shocked each time, thinking you’re gonna step in a puddle of kitty puke, as the stain catches your eye.
  5. More or less get used to the stain.
  6. Begin potty training your 2-year-old.
  7. Occasionally he’ll ask to sit on the potty.  Let him!  While turning for a second to throw away the diaper he was wearing, he will most likely run streaking and shrieking into the living room butt naked!
  8. Try not to overreact like your husband does when said 2-year-old pees gleefully ALL over the living room carpet, his shirt and his socks.
  9. Try not to laugh as you corral your child and wipe him down and force him to put on a new diaper.  This is especially hard, because the child will most likely be saying something along the lines of, “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  HAHAHA!!  That Foooooneeeee!  HAHAHA!!  That Foooooneee Mommy!!  HAHAHA!!!”
  10. Leave the house with your 2-year-old for a few hours.  When you return home, your husband will have cleaned and recleaned the living room and hallway carpets using the new stain remover stuff you bought a few weeks ago and never got around to using. 

Follow these instructions and you, too, can have clean and fresh-smelling carpets throughout your home!

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2 Comments

Filed under motherhood, not much, things that make me smile

2 responses to “How to Get Your Carpets Cleaned in 10 Easy Steps

  1. Marci

    Ooooh, I should try this!

  2. oh, man! I am laughing ha ha ha too – that fffffooooonnnnnnneeeee!

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