I wish I could get paid for all the worrying I do, honestly. I worry so much about N. sometimes. I worry when I don’t hear from her for long stretches and I worry about what I hear when I do have contact with her. I called her last week on her birthday and left her a message on her voicemail…and never heard anything back. She’s a month into mommying her new baby girl, so I know she’s exhausted and busy and learning, and probably stressed beyond anything. So I’m worrying about that. But I don’t call again, because I don’t want to hover and be a mother hen. So now, a week later, I hear from her and am so overjoyed to see her email in my box, but nearly stop breathing to read what she has to say about moving again, family violence, car troubles, new jobs and on and on. I wonder how a person gets through all those things all at once when they are trying to heal from birth, keep working towards a degree, and take care of a newborn. She comes off sounding so matter of fact about it all, like its-no-big-deal-keep-on-going-this-is-the-way-things-roll-around-here. I’m worried about her, her boyfriend, and the baby. She’s not asking for help. I’m not quite sure how to approach to ask to help, or how much help I can honestly provide. And honestly I worry that any financial help will go somewhere not intended, not through her fault, but perhaps someones else’s. I am usually a believer that a gift is a gift and people can use it as they see fit…but I’m usually not worried about the giftee.
Honestly, I’m really at a loss here. I don’t know what my role is or even if I have one rightfully. I want so much for things to be well for her.
(Edited to add: regarding the family violence, its not against her, but in the home where they were living before this most recent move.)