Will She Survive Toddlerhood?

By “she” I mean “me,” by the way!  The past few weeks have been a little tough for me.  At 20 months, Woob is of course, smart, active, independent, curious, and fast.  Those are GOOD things, right?  And most often, he uses these powers for good, not evil.  But then there’s the REST of the time… 

I am having a little difficulty not taking it personally.  I often have to step back and remind myself that this is not about me (or is it?). Every morning and every evening, we battle about the carseat. That is, I try to put the baby in the carseat and he battles me about it.  Violently.  He wants to ride in the truck.  I drive the car.  I drive to daycare.  I pick up.  The car has the better carseat.  Every morning before work and every evening after work, I am a puddle of sweat on the car floor from fighting to get the child in.  The crying starts as we approach the car and rises up to a crescendo as soon as the door is opened.  This morning I put the little booger in time out to give myself a break as well, and he calmed down immediately, but as soon as we approached the car again, it began again.  So tired.  So late for work.  When I drop him off, he gets angry when I go to help him off with his coat.  He hugs the other mommies dropping off, but pushes me away. ~Sigh~. 

Now, I’m usually very rational and understand that this kind of thing is developmentally appropriate for a kid this age.  That kids battle with parents and parents bug the heck out of kids.  In my head I get that.  But my heart hurts every time.  And this will be just the beginning, I know.  We have many conflicts ahead, and over far more important things than riding in the car versus the truck.   

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7 Comments

Filed under adoption, motherhood, toddler safety

7 responses to “Will She Survive Toddlerhood?

  1. Oh poor thing!!!! I often wonder if I will survive toddlerhood as well. (Although for entirely different reasons. I think I will die of a heart attack when I find my kid sitting on top of the stove. Those broiler drawer handles, they make GREAT ladders…)

    Let’s see, could daddy drop off or pick up once in a while? Maybe just one day a week even to give you a break? Or maybe you could get a special car toy or book that he only gets in your car?? That way he might look forward to riding in your car…

    Good luck!!

    (What is your schedule like the next few weeks? I might be able to get Shawn to cover for me during nap time so I could escape for a lunch!!!!)

  2. Oh, Marci, B. is having sinus surgery on Monday (eesh!) so I have the full deal all week while he recovers and the beginning oft eh week I’ll be caring for him. If you can arrange something with S. in upcoming weeks and give me notice I’d love to meet!

  3. storkwatcher

    Oooh – sinus surgery. not so fun, I hear.

    We only have the car seat sruggle occasionally, but it’s also at the end of the day when I pick him up from Mamaw’s to head home. I can usually bribe him. (If you sit in the seat, I will give you this book/toy phone/anything to hold until we get home.

    The diaper struggles? Happening more and more, with less and less effective bargaining there.

    I read somewhere that end of the day acting out is pretty common, because the kids feel safe to express their emotions with you after a long day of being with a caregiver. Okay, but come on – if we only have 2 or 3 hours together, kids, lets make it HAPPY!!!!!

    That’s why I love the weekends and the days I’m home. There seem to be fewer times of tension, and I’m sure it’s just because I get more of the happy times to spend with him…..

    But it’s hard not to take it personally…

  4. Next week is bad for Shawn anyay. I will check with him about the following week or two and let you know.

    Yuck for the sinus surgery though…

  5. Oh I so feel your pain and you are not alone! Toddler emotions run deep and strong, stronger than I ever thought possible. Yesterday as I was dropping MAM off, I asked her teacher, “Do most moms of two year olds feel like they need a drink before 8am?” And she said, “I sure did with my son!” So that made me feel a little better. Hang in there!

  6. Wish i had the talent to write such posts.

  7. It’s so, so hard. Our son was our challenge, and the year between three and four was the hardest. And yeah, it was impossible NOT to take it personally. But we survived, as I’m sure you will, although we do have a few scars to prove we were in the fray.

    Here’s hoping things even out a bit 🙂

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