Best Laid Plans‘ most recent post rang a familiar bell for me this morning as I read. Being in “baby limbo” just needing, wanting to know SOMETHING, ANYTHING during those weeks before baby comes does tend to make a potential mother go a bit bonkers. Add in the fact that every person in your whole life is asking you “have you heard anything?” just makes you want to HURT PEOPLE. I’ve lived it.
Funny, looking back on our wait, we were bombarded with question after question about the woman who chose us. People were SO interested…and just plain nosey: “Is she healthy? Does she know who the father is? What does she look like? How old is she? Is she in school? Where does she live? What’s she like? Is she in school? Does she have other kids? What’s her family like?” And on and on and on. They wanted to know every little detail, and wanted updates on demand. It was maddening. But we worked our way through it and survived it, arriving generally unscathed on the other side.
My, how things have changed since then! The same people who had a desperate desire to know all N.’s business before the placement, seem to have an equally strong inclination to avoid the topic of her existence now, almost two years later. Since she’s a part of Woob’s life, I tend to talk about her–not incessantly, but enought that people know what’s going on, and that she’s “around” and importantly, that she’s expecting. I want Woob to be able to grow up talking about his sister without others telling him he doesn’t have one, you know? And now N. is experiencing some problems with the pregnancy, hopefully that can be kept in check until its safe for Newbaby to come out, and when I bring such things up, NO ONE is asking for details. They don’t want to know about her health, they don’t want to know that she’s still in school, they don’t want to know where she’s living, they don’t want to know what her current family situation is, and they don’t really want to know about this new baby. I’m met with just silence. I bet they’d become interested if she suddenly asked us to parent, but that’s not likely.
I’m at a loss, really I am.