Time Flies

I’m still playing over so many of things that happened over the weekend, things we discussed and maybe a few still left to discuss.  But still…amazing we are where we are today.  My heart is very full.  You’ve given us and Woob many gifts just by your presence, not to mention your ability to just be straight up and honest about so many things. 

But what touches me the most, and leaves me feeling so…sad?…undone?…sorry…is your sentiment that you just don’t know what took you so long to get in touch with us.  That one little statement is so packed with information, isn’t it?  On one hand, I’m happy to hear it, because its you saying, “hey, you guys aren’t scary after all, this isn’t as hard as I thought it would be.”  I love that.  But in typical adoption fashion, for every cool thing that happens, there’s loss behind it.  In order for you to make a statement like that to me, you had to lose big time.  A whole year of your baby’s life.  Gosh, I’m grieving his swiftly passing babyhood and I’ve been here the whole time watching it, I can’t imagine the loss of not having been there at all.  I heard you make the comment, “I want him to be a baby again…”  I do too, for my sake and for yours. 

But he’s growing.  Happily and healthfully.  And he’s wonderful and smart and loving and good.  And perhaps if we can remember the losses from before, it will help us to prevent more in the future.  I’m so glad you’re here now.

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6 Comments

Filed under adoption, birthparents, mamahood, motherhood, open adoption

6 responses to “Time Flies

  1. StorkWatcher

    I hope you get to continue on with more visits with these wonderful people in your lives!

  2. I’m on the other side of the coin, grieving the passage of time, and found great comfort in your words.

    Thank you.

  3. Stork–its definitely ongoing.

    TGmom–I know you from the forums (I’m Emster there). Glad you started a blog. I enjoy reading your perspective always. Thank you for your kind comment!

  4. thanksgivingmom

    Oh, hey Emster! So glad to figure out who some of the forum folk are! Also looking forward to reading your stuff 🙂

  5. It’s wonderful to hear things are moving along. Wonderful for all of you.

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