Temptations in the Desert

Good Sunday Morning, N!

Just home from church, and lunch with the family.  Each Sunday on the drive home from Bob Evans, the little Guy just konks right out.  Church is way exciting for him with all the people and music.  He just basks in all the attention he gets from everyone—napping in church is just out of the question where he’s concerned.

This morning’s reading and sermon were about the temptation in the desert.  I don’t know if you go to church or even Believe, but as many things do, the story made me think of you, of us.

In the story, Christ went into the wilderness to reflect for forty days and nights.  He needed solitude to heal from the things that he was feeling—fragile, broken and alienated from God.  Along comes ol’ Satan and says, “do this and you’ll be happy, why put yourself through all this hard stuff?”

I started thinking of my own temptations, of how it would be so much easier to just forget about it, conclude that you’ve made your choices, and will need to live with them.  Those choices shouldn’t have to effect me.  That I should just move on.  It would be so much easier to NOT think about what you’re feeling every day, look for a letter in the mail every evening, think that maybe, just maybe, if I leave the right “nudge” in a letter that you might respond.

But then I thought to myself, “perhaps I should be more patient, maybe N needs more time alone to heal and think about all the hard stuff before she’s ready to face it, especially knowing that what’s to come might even be harder.”

I guess I shouldn’t pretend to know that these are your feelings, I can only guess…until the time when you might choose to tell me what those feelings have been.  I just need to trust that you’re taking your “forty days” so that if or when you’re ready, you’ll be truly ready, not just because somebody’s telling you you have to, you need to.  I have to trust that YOU know what’s best for you.  As for me, maybe I’ll take some time to reflect on what is to come as well.

Wishing you blessings today.

E.

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1 Comment

Filed under adoption, birthparents, faith, reflection

One response to “Temptations in the Desert

  1. Interesting — our sermon yesterday touched on the temptations in the desert too, specifically on the verse “man cannot live on bread alone.”

    And like you, each time I think I’m going to shove the “deeper” aspects of adoption to the back of my mind and keep things light, I somehow can’t seem to do that. My mind won’t let me.

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