Hi, N-

I’ve been doing tons of reading from the viewpoint of other families involved in adoption, especially mothers who have made adoption plans for their children.  I want to know, through their voices, who you might be, what you might be thinking, what you might say to ME someday.  As I read, I’ve come to a conclusion that I hadn’t given much thought to before:  semantics are HUGE in something as complicated as adoption. 

Words are used to create a context for everyone (“birthmother,” “adoptee,” “adoptive parent, “real,” or “natural”); that context becomes a title.  Add a little emotion, and you can darn well bet that people get are gonna get touchy where titles are concerned. 

I’ve titled this blog to you “Letters to a Birthmother,” certainly not to offend, but to HONOR one major role you’ve got in little Roo’s life.     My God, you gave BIRTH to him, surely with all the blood, sweat and tears that go along with it.  The fear.  Maybe a little anger in there, and honestly other emotions I have no right to wonder about or imagine.  You gave BIRTH to him.  There is no other person in the world who can say the same thing about that little boy.  There is not a thing anyone can do to take that moment in time away from you.  You are his Mother.





Filed under adoption, birthparents, semantics

2 responses to “BIRTH. MOTHER.

  1. You know what? You’re fine. Your words are fine. Your choices are fine.

    You made the choice with love and respect and no malice or dishonor intended. You can’t please everyone.

    I welcome you to the blogging world and look forward to more of your letters to a Birth.Mother. Birthmother. Mother. One mother to another. Two mothers who share a son.

  2. How sweet…thanks so much for the validation.

    its funny because that post came from just my own brain ruminating over things in the car, then when I log on to the adoption forums, there’s this BIG discussion about exactly the same thing–thread was closed becasue it was getting too emotional. How’s that for timeliness of a letter??

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