An anniversary

Dearest N-

Yesterday was the anniversary of the day we found out you chose us to parent that precious child you had carried in your womb for the past 8 months.  On that day, we went through so many emotions…relief, as we had been so breathless with anticipation for a week after speaking to you and hearing nothing, excitement, and the ever so slightest bit of doubt that this might not be true.  I spoke to Terre, so sweet and encouraging, unlike others from the agency (I hope they were at least good to you!), and she told me the details she knew, and I wrote every single thing down, afraid to miss even the slightest thing…still have the little slips of paper.  She said you were small, cute as a button, and independent–not afraid to tell your parents to back off when you needed to.  She told me your boyfriend was so sweet and supportive.  She told me you were expecting a boy and that you and baby were healthy.  She told me to buy a carseat and be ready for anything in the next few weeks.  What a leap of faith on both sides…I think you had so much more to risk placing your faith with someone to raise your first born child, than we had to risk by possibly losing a child we had never even met…

Its hard for us to know what it was about us that led you to choose us, to place your faith in us, to entrust us with this little life.  We never spoke about how or why you made that choice.  We can only guess, by the questions you asked us when we first spoke, from the things we learned about you and your family during our time spent in the hospital.  Someday I would love to know what exactly it was.  Whatever it was, I pray that we live up to the expectation that you have for us. 

Hoping you’re staying warm this winter night.

–E.

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3 Comments

Filed under adoption

3 responses to “An anniversary

  1. This is so insanely beautiful, so heartfelt and so real.

    Bless you.

  2. reunionwritings

    Poor mama, my heart goes out to her. I’m glad you are so loving towards her, and I hope that you will keep her close for ever and never shut her out.

  3. That’s really beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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